The Difficult Kind
by Judas Escariot
Summary: [ReidCentric] Gideon is making Reid to take an unwanted vacation from the BAU, and he is forced to face his demons, as well as an old friend.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I've never written Criminal Minds fanfiction. In fact, I feel somewhat lame for doing it at all. But nonetheless, I hope someone appreciates this. Also, I apologize if the people seem somewhat out of character. I'm doing my best to get them right.

* * *

"One month. No exceptions."

"But, Gideon, I-"

"Reid, one month. You've needed a break for a long time, and I know that you won't ask for a vacation on your own. Think of this as a reward for making the right decision."

Jason Gideon sat behind his desk, leaning back in his chair. Across the desk from him, his youngest and possibly most loyal apprentice at the BAU stared at him incredulously.

"Which right decision would you be referring to?" Reid asked as he reached for his bag in the other chair, realizing that Gideon wasn't asking, nor was he taking no for an answer. Gideon simply looked at him knowingly.

"You'll never miss another plane again."

Realization dawned, and Reid stood, feeling slightly self-conscious. "Gideon... there was only ever one decision."

Gideon nodded. "One month."

Reid sighed, then nodded, before taking his bag from the chair and walking out of the office, closing the door softly behind himself. He looked out over the BAU office, a little sadly. He realized that Gideon was right. He did need a break. He needed to rest his mind, and his body, but it was in the nature of all of his team to never want to miss a thing. There was never a dull moment in Quantico, and he had always dodged his vacation time for as long as he could before the year was nearly up.

This time, however, he had no choice.

"Reid, man, you alright?" Morgan asked when Reid made it to his desk and set down his bag. Reid nodded.

"Vacation," he explained simply, and Morgan grinned.

"'Bout damn time, kid. You stay here any longer, they're going to have to pry you out of that chair with a chisel," he said, then leaned against the edge of Reid's desk. "You should be happy, Reid. You've earned a break."

"It's not a matter of earned, so much as force," Reid said, glancing back up at the door to Gideon's office. Morgan pushed off the desk and placed a hand on Reid's shoulder, patting it.

"Just try and enjoy it. I promise, we'll keep you updated."

"Keep that promise," Reid called after him, then sat down at his chair to start collecting his things from his desk.

* * *

"Miss Archer, where do you plan to go from here?"

Lila sighed, brushing her hair back from her face.

She was exhausted. This had been the longest week of her career. She's done nothing but press conference after press conference, photo shoot after photo shoot since she'd gotten back on the job. She'd taken a few months off after the whole stalking incident, but she was past it. Since she'd been back, she'd been cast in two movies, in supporting roles, and both were coming out the next week. The films were getting mixed reviews, but both had acknowledged her performances as surprising and exceptional, a great leap forward from Emotional Cages.

She'd been intensely busy with promoting her films for the past month, doing appearances, and all of that was finally winding down. She was thankful. She needed a few weeks to herself.

"I'm still exploring my options," she replied to the E! Entertainment Television reporter in the front row, tossing him a winning smile. She glanced to the edge of the stage, signaling the stage tech with her expression, and the woman in the headset sprang to action, crossing the stage.

"Well, folks, we're about out of time. Miss Archer will be able to take one more question."

Dozens of hands shot up, and the woman, pointed to one of them. "Yes, you, in the blue sweater."

Lila tried to peer around the woman to catch of glimpse of the person to whom she referred, but she couldn't make out the face, as the man was way in the back of the crowd. When he spoke, she recognized the voice immediately.

"Do you have a dog, yet?"

Lila sat straight up in her chair as the woman moved off the stage. The hands had gone down in the audience, and she could now make out the face. She smiled genuinely for the first time all day.

"...I'm allergic."

* * *

"I... what are you doing here, Spencer?" Lila asked as she picked up her fork and beginning poking at her salad. The two had gone to lunch at a small cafe near her home, and they were seated on the patio. Reid stared at her intently.

"Agent Gideon informed me that I was taking a vacation yesterday afternoon. I didn't want to go to Nevada quite yet, and I don't really have any friends. And... well, when... you know... well, I thought maybe you'd like to go out to dinner or something, maybe?" Reid's fingers drummed the arm of his chair nervously, and Lila raised her eyebrows, smirking slightly.

"You flew across the country to ask me to dinner, Spencer?" she asked. He jawed a moment, feeling stupid, and she grinned. "I'm teasing you."

He sighed, relaxing a bit in his seat. "I didn't really know where else to go."

She nodded, then set down her fork. "How long is your vacation?"

"Four weeks."

"And how long do you plan on staying?"

"Oh," he said, realizing suddenly that he had no idea. "I... um... I'm not really sure, actually."

"Where are you staying?" she asked, and once again he came up with nothing.

"I just got off the plane an hour ago."

"How'd you know where I was?" she asked, and she saw a little tinge of color appear in his cheeks.

"I saw the press conference on the television at the airport."

"So you don't have anywhere to stay for the unspecified amount of time you'll be here?" He nodded, frowning slightly. "Well then. I guess you'll just have to stay with me."

"Lila, you don't have to... I'd be imposing. You're busy," he said, shaking his head as he laid his hands on the table. "I couldn't-"

His voice faltered when she laid one of her hands on top of his, squeezing it slightly. "I'm offering. And besides, I was looking for a date to the premiere this weekend."

Reid's eyebrow's shot up his forehead. "The what?"

"Eat your salad, Spencer. You look hungry."

* * *

"So, why is Agent Gideon making you take a vacation," Lila asked when they were on the road headed back to her house. Traffic was slow, and they were currently stalled at a red light. She glanced over at him to see him wringing his hands rather anxiously.

"I... uh... I've been... he just thought I needed it," Reid explained, too quickly. _What is wrong with me?_ he thought. _I can usually lie better than this._

"Why's that?" Lila asked, still watching him. He looked up from his hands. "Been working too hard?"

He paused, apprehensive, then frowned and looked out the window, knowing he would be better off just telling her.

"A month ago, we were working on a case at the BAU... a man was killing people for being sinners, as he put it. Hotch sent JJ and I to investigate someone who'd made a 911 call about seeing a prowler at the first victim's house. He was really unwilling to help, and he denied ever having made the call. Well, I put two and two together, and ran around to the back of the house, realizing that this man... Tobias Henkle, was the unsub... the killer."

"I remember what an unsub is," Lila said, smiling slightly. He looked back to her and her smile faltered.

"Well, he saw me peering in his back window, and ran out of his house, so JJ and I followed him into his barn. Then we split up, thinking we might be able to find him. I saw him running out into a field behind his house, a corn field, so I ran after him, but I couldn't find him, because the stalks were so high. Then I heard JJ scream. I started running, but I had no idea where I'd run to, and I yelled for her. Then he hit me, and I fell, and I dropped my gun. He grabbed it and pointed it at me. He looked so scared. It was strange. He started whimpering about how he had tried to warn everyone. Then his expression changed, and his voice dropped, and he said "Shoot him." Then he started whimpering again, about how he didn't want to, that I hadn't done anything. The man had a split personality, and they were arguing over killing me. It was... surreal."

He turned slightly in his seat and looked out the windshield, realizing they were almost to her house. He didn't even remember half of the drive. He fell silent for a long moment and Lila glanced to him for looking back at the road.

"Spencer, if you don't want to talk about it..."

"No," he said, shaking his head. "I'm just not sure you'll want to hear it."

She dropped her right hand from the steering wheel and reached across the truck cab to take his hand in hers and squeeze it. "I'll listen to whatever you want to tell me."

He looked down at their hands, then laced his fingers through hers and nodded. "We're almost to your house. I'll finish when we get there."

* * *

"So, if Hotch hadn't understood, I'd be dead right now," Reid finished, and sat back in his seat on the couch, raising his hands to his face and rubbing his eyes. Lila was staring at him with wide eyes, glassy eyes. She didn't really know how to respond. He had just told her every detail of his kidnapping, with no emotion, like he were telling her about a crime that happened years ago he'd read about in a college text book. She reached out and took his arm in her hands, pulling his hand from his face. She stretched in out in front of her, pushing up the sleeve of his Oxford, then leaned close to him. She trailed her fingers lightly over the very faint track marks still present on his forearm. He watched her silently.

"When did you stop using?" she asked suddenly, and Reid, surprised, pulled his arm away from her.

"I told you, he gave me the-"

"Those would be more faint. How long has it been?" she asked. He stared at her, suddenly feeling very ashamed, and he leaned his head back on the couch.

"I only took it once after they found me. Three weeks ago. I threw everything out when we were flying back from Austin. I flushed it all. The vials, the syringe. Everything."

His voice suddenly caught in his throat. "I don't even know why I took them from the crime scene. I just couldn't stop myself. I wish I would have..."

After saying this, he squeezed his eyes shut tightly, pulling his knees up to his chest and burying his head in his hands, his long, shaking fingers pushing his hair back from his face. Lila stared at him a moment, then go onto her knees straightened up to his height, wrapping her arms around him. In seconds, he was crying openly, and she set her chin on the top of his head, running a soothing hand down his back.

"Spencer, you didn't do anything wrong," she said, her voice barely above a whisper, as she herself was getting choked up at his sudden display. "You've gotten past it. You're going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay."

She hoped, for his sake, that she was right.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who reviewed the first chapter. It was much better feedback than I expected. Also, what Reid is reading at the end of this chapter is Marcel Proust's "Remembrances of Things Past", the same book which Reid's mom read to him in one of the flashback scenes during Revelations. I thought it would be appropriate.

* * *

Reid was dissoriented when he woke up. His vision was blurry, and he blinked a few times as he sat up. He was aware that he was covered by a thin throw blanket, and that he was still fully dressed. He looked around the room, and finally, he was conscious enough to remember where he was. He was in Lila's living room, on her couch. And across from him, Lila slept, curled in a ball in the chair.

She stirred slightly when he moved, and she bolted upright when she realized that he was awake. "Oh... hey. You're awake."

"And so are you," he replied, smiling slightly. She looked around, then laughed lightly. "Yeah... I guess I must've been dosing too."

Reid shoved the blanket off himself and ran a hand through his hair, which Lila couldn't help smiling at, as it was standing up in several different directions.

"How long was I asleep?" he asked, looking around for a clock. "It's dark out."

"Yeah. It's nine-thirty. You fell asleep at about six," she said, then stood, smoothing the creases out of her clothes. She crossed to him, picking up his blanket, and began to fold it. Reid took an end to help her.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep," he said when it was folded and slung across the back of the couch. "I guess I'm not much of a guest."

"Don't worry about it. You seemed like you needed it," she said, and his mind referred back to their earlier conversation. He absently ran the fingers of his left hand down his right forearm, then looked up at her.

"Thank you."

"For what?" she asked, sitting down next to him and drawing her knees up to her chest.

"For listening. You're the first person I've actually been able to talk to about it," he said. She smiled and reached out to squeeze his arm.

"Thank you," she replied. He turned to her.

"For what?"

"For trusting me to hear it."

As she said this, a door opened at the front of the house, and heels clicked across the tile floor.

"Lila! Lila, where are you?" called a voice from the foyer, and Reid tensed involuntarily. Lila stood up.

"In the living room!" she called back, and a thin brunette entered the room, dressed in a short red dress and wearing a bit too much make up. She paused when she saw Reid sitting on the couch, then she glanced to Lila.

"You're not dressed," she said simply, and Lila looked down at her sweats and hoodie.

"Oh, yeah, right... I fell asleep," she said, then glanced to Reid quickly. The girl followed her gaze. Reid stood.

"Who's that?" the girl asked, her eyebrows raised.

"Uh, Mara, this is Dr. Spencer Reid, a friend of mine," Lila said, and Reid awkwardly extended his hand. The girl stared at it a moment.

"Aren't you a little young to be a doctor," she asked as she shook his hand shortly then released it. She turned back to Lila before she gave him a chance to answer. "You need to hurry up, Sully and Vince are out in the car."

"I... um... I think I'm going to skip this one, Mara," Lila said, and the brunette screeched in disgust.

"You can't SKIP this one, Lila. It's the biggest party of the-"

"Month?" Lila asked, smirking slightly.

"Year," Mara corrected snidely. "You have to go. You can wear the black dress you bought last week."

"But, I..." she looked helplessly to Reid, and Mara rolled her eyes.

"You can bring your doctor, if you want, though Sully probably won't be happy," Mara interrupted, then smirked herself. "Hell, he might come in handy if someone gets sick, or twists and ankle."

"Actually, I'm not that kind of doc-..." Reid silenced a moment when the girl looked at him blandly. "Uh... right."

Mara looked back to Lila, who sighed. "Well?"

Lila looked to Reid, who shrugged, and then she sighed. "I guess... maybe for a little while."

"Great!" Mara said, clapping her hands together, before looking Reid over once more. "He needs to change."

Reid looked down at himself, suddenly feeling self-conscious about his standard vest, oxford, corduroy pant combo, then glanced to Lila. She rolled her eyes and gestured for him to follow her.

* * *

Reid was uncomfortable. Physically, he was being shoved against the left side of the back seat of a ridiculously undersized BMW, his shoulder squeezed painfully against the hard plastic of the window. Beside him, a girl he didn't know wearing an impossibly short dress was chain smoking Misty 120s. Lila was seated in a similar position on the right side of the car, and the smoke was wafting through the car like it was some weird German biodome, and the girl was representing the air pollution caused by traffic in Los Angelos. Reid's eyes were starting to sting from it. Lila had developed a cough.

Mentally, Reid was even more uncomfortable. With the combination of clothes that weren't his, and therefore, weren't "dorky", as Mara had put it when he'd changed, and the lack of intelligient conversation in the smoldering car, he was beginning to wonder if he would ever recover from this disservice from God or whatever entity had chosen to place him here at this time.

"And then Jana says 'Yeah, well, at least I'm great in bed!' and I said 'Yeah, well, you're daddy sure taught you well,'" shouted the chain smoking smog producer over the arguably worst music Reid's ears had ever been exposed to. The two men in the front seat chuckled dumbly, and Reid did his best not to beat his head off the window.

"Turn left, Sully," the man who must be Vincent said, pointing, Reid was certain, because the neanderthal driving the car didn't know one direction from the other.

Sully pulled the car into a long circular drive in front of a stone mansion, so lit up inside and out that it was propably visible from space. The guys in the front climbed out of the car, and Reid and Lila scrambled with equal vigor to be free of their inprisoning window seats. The girl climbed out after them and lit another cigarette as she sauntered off after the guys. Lila slowly made her was around to the front of the car to meet him.

"We can leave whenever you want, Spencer," she said, looking very sorry indeed.

"I'll tug my ear or something to signal you," he said, forcing a smile to reassure her that he didn't intend to run away screaming. She held out her hand to him, grinning back winningly and he took it, following her towards the house with one last reluctant sigh.

* * *

"So, Dr. Reid," mumbled Sully drunkenly as he slung an arm around Reid's shoulders. "You're like, a doctor?"

"Um... yes," Reid said, somewhat awkwardly. "I think that's a requirement of the title, actually."

Sully laughed, too loudly, and Reid did his best not to cringe at the scent of alcohol on his breath. "You're funny, Doc. Hey, guys, Dr. Reid is funny!"

"No, really, I'm not. At all," Reid added, trying to shrug out from under his captor's exceptionally heavy arm.

"Nah, man, y'are. Yer real funny. Like Bugs Bunny or something. What's up, Doc? HEY! Doc!" Sully said, then he laughed harder.

"There's also a dwarf," Reid muttered quietly under his breath, then finally managed to wriggle free. "I'll catch up with you later, Sully."

"Sure thing, Doc!" Sully called, then he turned to someone else standing beside him. Reid hurried away as quickly as possible and then headed out the back door, in search of an escape.

It wasn't that he minded being there, really. He didn't, because he was Lila's guest, and she had already made plans before he showed up out of the clear blue unannounced. He had no right to care. He vowed that he would sit in wait until she got bored, and he'd be polite about it. All he needed to do was find a good place to hide... from everyone.

He wandered around the patio, then found himself walking towards the pool. Around it, several lounge chairs with thick, plush cushions sat, and he selected on, sitting down in it. There was surprisingly no one in the pool, or near it. He wondered if perhaps they locked off the back of the house so that no one would find it and drown in their drunken stupors. Nonetheless, he had found it, and he reached into his ever present messenger bag to find a book.

"Lila, I can't BELIEVE you brought him here!" someone shouted shrilly, and he heard the now familiar flick of a Bic lighter. He shrunk down in his chair, hoping not to be seen.

"Why?" Lila asked, and he noticed a tinge of annoyance in her voice. "He's a very good friend of mine, and a really nice person."

"But... I mean... he's not really... part of our usual crowd, you know?" Mara explained. Lila rolled her eyes.

"Maybe, Mara, I'm tired of our "usual crowd"."

Mara snorted obnoxiously, as if this were the more preposterous thing she had ever heard.

"Oh, come ON, Li... he's a total loser!"

Reid took no offense at this, as, from a very early age, he'd realized that being insulted was a matter of opinion, one which he himself, most of the time, did not agree with. Lila, on the other hand, didn't take Mara quite so lightly.

"What are you, twelve years old?!" Lila cried, throwing her hands up. "Just because someone is smart, and charming, and actually does something important, rather than being a socialite for a living, does not make them a loser!"

"Oh, yeah? He does something important?! What does he do, Lila, program video games?!"

"He profiles serial killers for the FBI!" Lila snapped, then fell silent. She wasn't sure that this was something she wanted to get into with Mara. It really was none of her business, and Lila knew from experience that things that Mara knew that were none of her business generally became her business, along with everyone elses.

"Oh, yeah right," Mara rolled her eyes, then stubbed her cigarette out with the end of her stiletto. "And I work for the CIA."

At this, she wandered off, and Lila groaned loudly, before walking down towards the pool.

"You know, if you start tugging your ear, I'd get it," Reid said as he stood up, and Lila jumped in surprise.

"Oh, God, Spencer were you there the whole time?" she asked, turning to him. He replaced his book in his bag and nodded. "I... I'm sorry about her. She's-"

"Not incredibly important to my self-esteem," Reid finished for her, and he saw her shoulders relax slightly. "I'm used to it, Lila, it's not a big deal."

"No, it IS a big deal. I mean... she had no right."

"Sure she did. We've all got the right to make stupid comments in public arenas. That's a big part of our civil liberties."

"How do you take everything in stride like that?" she asked, and he shrugged.

"Incessant tongue lashings from people give you a strong backbone, I guess," he said, then he smiled. She laughed lightly.

"Do you want to go back in?" he asked her. She looked up at the door, then back down at him, shaking her head.

"No. It's nice out here. Warm. Quiet," she said, then she inhaled the night air slowly, her eyes closing for a moment. When they opened, she looked up at him once more. "What were you reading?"

"Uh... Proust. One of my mom's favorites," he said, then reached into his bag and pulled out the book, handing it to her. She ran her hand over the cover.

"Can you read me some of it?" she asked as she sat down in one of the lounge chairs and patted the one next to her, gesturing for him to sit as well. He paused for a moment.

"I can recite it for you," he said, and she she smiled a little lopsidely and leaned back in her chair, her eyes closing as he sat down next to her. He cleared his throat and began.

"For a long time, I used to go to bed early. Sometimes, when I had put out my candle, I had not even the time to say 'I'm going to sleep.'"


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thanks to the few who reviewed Chapter 2. I'm having better luck coming up with inspiration for this story than I usually do, so here's number 3.

* * *

At some point during the course of his recitation, Lila had tugged her chair closer to his, and he continued to ramble off the words until her head fell onto his shoulder, and her breathing became even. Her hair fell down over her forehead, and he reached up and brushed it away so that he could look at her face.

She was beautiful in a way that Reid couldn't quite place. He had wondered, all those months ago, if maybe he just thought she was gorgeous because she was nice to him. But now, sitting outside in the darkness, her face lit only by the moon, he realized that it hadn't been that at all. She was striking, and classic, like Grace Kelly or Katharine Hepburn.

And she was nice to him. Always a positive thing.

He was surprised when his cellphone began to vibrate inside of his pocket, and he cautiously reached for it, trying his best not to wake her. He looked down at the caller ID, and noted that it said "Garcia" and so he flipped it open and held it up to his ear.

"Hello?" he asked quietly.

"Hiya, Sunshine!" Penelope Garcia called from the other end. "How's California?"

"How'd you know I was in California?" he asked. As far as he could remember, he hadn't told anyone.

"Oh, sweetie, you know you can't hide from me," she laughed. "Besides, Gideon made me trace your cell to make sure you weren't hidden in a closet somewhere around here, pouring over case files by flashlight."

"Really?"

"No. I lied. I actually just wanted to know for myself."

"Oh. How are things back at the BAU?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Slow. JJ hasn't had a single call since you left, can you believe it?" she said, the she paused. "Why are you whispering?"

"I... uh..."

"Why, Dr. Reid, you're not alone, are you?" she asked in her best impression of a Southern debutante.

"Well... no, not exactly."

Garcia let out a loud squeak, and Reid jumped slightly, then looked down at Lila quickly. She stirred, but then her head rested once more on his shoulder, her arm reaching around him as though she were hugging a pillow.

"Garcia, it's not like that. It's just a friend... she fell asleep."

"Oh, honey, that's not good..."

"No," he said quickly, exasperated. "I was reciting Proust to her, and-"

"You were what?"

"What?"

"Reid, doll, you don't do that on a date... or in any other situation, for that matter," Garcia laughed. Reid rolled his eyes.

"It's not a date, and besides, she asked me."

"Really?" she asked, sounding incredulous.

"Yes, really."

"Oh. Oookay..."

"Garcia, isn't it like, three thirty there?"

"Yep," she said, more than a bit chipper.

"Why aren't you asleep?"

"Oh, Reid, you know we robots never sleep."

"Right... well, I need to go, Garcia. I'll talk to you soon."

"Of course. Get back to your lady friend."

"Goodnight, Penelope," he said, doing his best to sound surly.

"Night, Reid!"

The line went dead, and he closed his cellphone, sliding it back into his pocket. As he did this, Lila stirred again, and this time, her head lifted so she could look at him with sleepy eyes.

"I fell asleep."

"Yes."

"Again."

"I'm incredibly dull as a companion."

Lila smiled at this, then sat up, her arm still draped across him. She set her hand on his knee and balanced herself.

"I like when you're here, Spencer," she said, her head tilted to one side. Reid was glad it was dark, because he could feel the color rising into his cheeks. "Strange as it sounds, you make me feel... normal."

Reid swallowed, and tried to keep his voice level as her hand moved slowly from his knee to his thigh. She seemed to be leaning closer to him. Too close. "Lila... you're anything but normal."

When her lips touched his, Reid's mind went fuzzy. He didn't know where he was. He didn't know who he was. All he knew was that Lila was kissing him, and he felt more complete than he had in months.

Somehow, they hadn't noticed the man hidden in the bushes across the pool, a camera perched in his hand. Neither heard the clicking, and the flash shone brightly against the darkness.

Then, suddenly, he felt cold. His mind was spinning. He couldn't see Lila anymore. He was back on Marshall Plantation, and he was dizzy. And that smell... _that horrible smell..._

Reid jumped out of his seat, and Lila fell, sprawling backwards onto her hands.

"Spencer, what's... are you okay?"

Reid looked down at his shaking hands, and his breathing hitched. He felt like he was hyperventilating.

"Spencer?" Lila asked again, getting quickly to her feet. She reached to touch him and he jerked back away from her. "Spencer?!"

Reid gasped, then squeezed his eyes shut. When he opened them, he was back. Everything was right again. He looked around himself, then his eyes landed on Lila, who stared, watching him with wide, concerned eyes.

"What just happened?" she asked. He couldn't respond, and he simply shook his head.

"I'm taking you home, Spencer," she said, then started towards the back door. Reid cast one last look around the patio, then grabbed his bag and followed.

* * *

Reid stared at the ceiling, wide awake, examining the parallel lines created by the recessed lighting in the living room. It was dark in the room, but he'd been laying there for so long that his eyes had adjusted.

He felt guilty. Lila hadn't said much to him since they'd left the party, and he understood. He hadn't been able to explain what had happened when she'd kissed him. In fact, he himself wasn't quite sure.

How had that triggered a flashback? It didn't make sense. How could he being going from blissfully happy one second, then terrified and shaking the next?

He sat up suddenly. He was not okay with this. And he would be damned if he was going to take it lying down.

He got up from the couch and pushed back his hair from his face, then started off down the hall towards Lila's room with determination. When he reached her door, he found it slightly ajar, which he was thankful for, as stealth was not, nor had it ever been, one of his specialties. He pushed it slowly open and found Lila's still form on the bed, under a sheet.

He paused a moment in the doorway to drink her in. Her gold hair was spread out across her pillow, and the light coming in from the window gave it a glowing hue. Reid bit down on his lower lip. This was still a new concept to him.

He crossed the room to her bed, then peered over her sleeping form to make sure she was in fact asleep. He guessed that she was by the slow rise and fall of her chest under the sheet. Steeling himself, he walked around to the opposite side of the bed and sat down on it.

Despite his caution, his minimal weight on the mattress stirred her, and her eyes opened fractionally to look over at him.

"Spencer? What are you-"

Before she could finish, his lips had descended upon hers, and she stopped caring what he was doing there. She also managed to not care that underneath the sheets, she was wearing flannel Hello Kitty pajamas, or that his hair was tickling her forehead.

When he pulled away from her, his eyes opening slowly, he looked down at her from behind the strands of his hair that had fallen into his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said first, then he bit down on his lip a moment. "I'm not sure what happened back there, but I just wanted you to know that it wasn't intentional. Goodnight, Lila."

He pulled back off the bed and started towards the door.

"Wait," she said, sitting up. He paused and looked back at her. "Where are you going?"

"Back to the living room," he said. She stared at him with sleepy confusion. "Sleep well."

With that, he walked out of the room, and she watched him go, dumbstruck.

* * *

"Spencer? Spennncer..."

Reid opened one eye to the blindingly bright living room as Lila shook his arm lightly to wake him. When he saw her, he blinked his eyes a few times to focus on her, then sat up.

"Morning," he mumbled.

"Good morning," she said, smiling crookedly. When he looked her over, noting that she was dressed.

"Are you going somewhere?" he yawned, then covered his mouth with one hand and yawned again. His other hand went to rub his eyes like a small child.

"Yeah, I have to go to a cast photoshoot for 'Dust'," she said, referring to her soon to be released mockumentary "Another One Bites The Dust: Horror Extravaganza Part XVI". "You can come if you want."

Reid shook his head. "No. I'll just be in the way if I go. What do you have to do after that?"

"I have a dress fitting at 1:30," she said, checking her reflection in a mirror over the couch. "We could go to lunch in between, if you want. I can have a driver come get you."

"You don't have to entertain me, Lila," he said, and she rolled her eyes.

"Spencer, you came to visit me. It's my job to entertain you. I'll have the driver come get you at 12:00." When she said this, she looked down at her watch. "Oh, I've gotta run, or I'll be late. Help yourself to anything in the fridge, if there is anything."

She leaned towards him to kiss him goodbye, then at the last minute, she turned her face to kiss his cheek. She pulled back, and the two stared at each other, both looking equally uncomfortable and a little confused.

"Are we... doing that, now?" she asked after a long moment. Reid looked up at her, with slightly wide eyes.

"I... um... well..."

"I really have to go," she said, frowning slightly. "I'll see you later. Be ready by twelve!"

He nodded as she hurried out of the living room, grabbing her purse and keys from the table in the foyer on her way. Reid listened for the sound of the door closing, then fell back onto the pillows on the couch, his hand raising to his cheek.

Were they doing that, now?

Reid, for once, had no idea.


	4. Chapter 4

"This is so gross," Lila laughed as she looked to her right to the person lying beside her. They were nearing the end of their shoot, and the whole thing was culminating in the entire cast, laying in different odd positions upon a pile of bloody body parts. Appropriate, she felt, but still not the most appealing way to spend the day. 

Thus far, she had suffered a gun shot wound in the stomach, a near-beheading, and somehow they had rigged with prosthetics for her to have only one arm. She was certain that the pictures were going to be brutally disgusting, and her castmates and herself had been having a blast with all the ridiculous props. This final cast shot, featuring her, the one other girl in the film, Moira Daniels, a young brunette, and the two male "actors" in the cast, Evan Kyle and Blake Kensington, was to be on the cover of Entertainment Weekly. Lila couldn't help but appreciate the fact that this might be on line at a grocery store next to someone's ground beef. Poetic, in a way.

When the photographer finally informed the cast that the shoot was wrapped, she was helped up out of the gooey mess of organs and fake blood and crossed the room to start mopping herself with a towel. The fake blood was making her clothing stick to her skin like it was super glue. _What a mess_, she thought.

A door opened somewhere in the back of the room. There were some murmered voices, and then someone called her name.

"Lila? You know this kid?" called the photographer who had been summoned to the door. Reid stood there, hands shoved deep in his pockets, awkwardly small next to the security guards flanking him and she grinned.

"Yeah, Jimmy, let him over!" Reid waved a polite goodbye to the guards, then started across the room. When he was within a few feet of her, he stopped in his tracks.

"Hey, Spencer, did you make it okay?" she asked as she continued to soak the blood out of her jeans. When he didn't respond, she looked up at him to find he was staring at her with a peculiar expression on his face. He looked vaguely nauseous and frightened at the same time. "Spencer, are you alright?"

Snapping back to consciousness, he finally focused on her. "What? Oh... yeah."

He closed the distance between them in a few long strides, fingering his own left temple lightly for a moment. "You're makeup... it was just... uh... surprising."

"Well, it's a horror flick... kind of, so we decided to have fun with it," she said, shrugging. His hand raised to touch the fake wound at her temple. She raised an eyebrow. "You sure you're okay?"

He removed his hand quickly as if it had burned him. "Yes. I'm fine."

She smiled again. "Well, I just gotta go rinse all this mess off and change, then we can go to lunch. Okay?"

"Sure."

When she wandered away to clean up, Reid started towards the set to look at it more closely. He squatted next to the pile of "guts", and ran a light, cautious hand over one of the mutilated legs sticking out near him. One of the stage hands grinned.

"Pretty realistic, huh?" he asked. Reid looked up at him flatly.

"No."

The man, looking a little surprised, walked away quickly, and Reid continued to walk around the pile. He was still eyeing it intently when Lila came back, the makeup washed away, and her clothes changed. She was drying her hair with a towel. She didn't say anything when she walked up, and watched him for a moment.

"Spencer?" she finally called after a moment. He looked up. "Is all this... too much?"

"What, this?" he asked, gesturing to the pile. "No. I've seen a lot worse."

"Really?"

"Yes," he replied, a little sadly, before standing up. He looked down at his fingers at the fake blood and she handed him her towel to wipe it off. "Thanks."

Lila cast one last look over the set, then looked up at Reid. "Lunch?"

"Something cooked, preferably," he replied, and then he finally smiled and she laughed.

"Agreed."

* * *

It was surprisingly chilly for Los Angelos in the Spring, and Reid was glad he'd worn long sleeves. Lila had elected to eat at a small cafe and sit at one of the little tables outside, but he could tell at this point that she had regretted her decision, because she was hugging herself, and goosebumps had risen on her arms. He stood, and began to take off his jacket.

"Are you crazy?" she asked, looking up at him. "It's c-"

She fell silent when he walked around the table and put it over her shoulders. She smiled at him. "You're going to be cold now."

He lifted one arm, gesturing to his sleeve, then sat back down. She put her arms through the sleeves on the jacket, then reached for her water glass. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Reid looked out over the street they sat beside, noting that there was a man across the street, aiming a camera at Lila from his place between two buildings. He nodded in his direction. "You're being photographed."

Lila followed his gaze, then sighed and looked back to the table. "You know... I'm not complaining, because if I hadn't wanted the celebrity, I wouldn't have come out here to try and get famous... but, just once, I would like to have a meal without someone staring at me."

Reid looked at her, somewhat sympathetic. "But, Lila, I'd have to guess that even without the paparazzi and the celebrity, someone would still be staring at you during every meal... how could they not be?"

She blushed slightly, then reached under the table to take his hand. He stared at her a moment, then looked down at the table, smiling slightly.

When he looked up again, he noticed Lila was looking past him down the sidewalk, and he turned around to look.

A man of average size was heading towards them, his left hand in the pocket of his black hooded sweatshirt. His hood was up, and Reid couldn't see his face. His spine went rigid and his hand squeezed tightly onto Lila's.

"Spencer?" she asked, wincing from the death grip he now had on her hand. "Spencer, what's wrong?"

Reid's eyes were still locked on the man in the hood, and as he came closer, Reid saw that his hand was leaving his pocket. He jumped out of his chair so quickly that it fell over.

"Hey, man, you okay?"

The man had pulled his hood off, and he held in his hand a notepad. Reid stared at him, still frozen where he stood, then looked down the sidewalk again before quickly turning back. The man picked up his chair and set it upright. Lila flexed her fingers the get the feeling back. Reid let out a breath.

"I... I'm sorry. I thought..." Reid swallowed and cast one last look down the sidewalk before shaking his head to clear it. "I'm sorry."

Lila watched him cautiously. The man finally looked to Lila.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bother you guys. I just... my girlfriend's a big fan of yours. She was totally obsessed with _Emotional Cages_. She cried when it got cancelled. I was wondering if maybe I could get your autograph. She'd never believe that I talked to you."

Lila forced on a smile, then held her hand out for the notepad. The man grinned, and she signed her name before handing it back.

"Oh. Thank you. She's going to be totally stoked," he said, putting the notepad back in his pocket. "Sorry to bother you."

With that, he jogged back down the sidewalk and Reid finally sat back down in his chair, shaking a little bit.

"Spencer, what's wrong?" Lila asked, insistent.

"I... he looked like... I..." Reid paused, reaching with a shaking hand for his water glass. Lila reached across the table and set her hand on top of his.

"Spencer... you're okay."

He looked at her, then shook his head. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I mean... he's gone... I shot him. He's dead. And I know that... I just..."

"I understand, Spencer. But you're okay now. Just try to relax."

She withdrew her hand, and he raised his water to his mouth, taking a long drink.

* * *

Despite his assurance that he was fine, Lila refused to leave Reid alone for the rest of the day, so she cancelled her dress fitting. "I'll be the same size tomorrow, it doesn't matter," she insisted. He was powerless against her.

Lila had decided that they're simplest option was to go to the video store near her house and rent a day's supply of movies, then stop at the grocery store for staple munchies. Lila had done all the selecting at the video store after Reid told her that it would probably be best, as he never watched movies, and therefore would have no idea what to select. When they reached the grocery store, she told him that he had to choose everything, because that was the only fair way to settle things. She took a shopping cart and placed it in front of him.

"Anything that sounds good, put it in the cart," she said, and he cocked his head at her.

"Anything? Lila, this is a grocery store. Do you realize that I could assumedly select over a thousand things that sound good?" he asked her, pushing the cart towards the produce section. He picked up a cucumber and examined it. "Statistically, humans are more enticed by flashy packaging than the actual taste of the food itself. We could wind up with a cart full of nothing but cat food and salad dressing that way."

Lila stared at him flatly. "Spencer. Just pick."

He shrugged, then put the cucumber in the cart.

"No... Spencer, you have to put it in a bag first. Don't you ever go shopping?" she asked, then gestured to the roll of plastic produce bags. He walked over to it, shaking his head.

"I'm never home... I usually eat at the office." He tugged on the end of the bags, a little too hard, and wound up holding a pile of plastic, still attached to the roll. He detached the first one, then attempted to re-roll the excess bags. He struggled for a moment, then gave up, leaving the extra bags drooping to nearly the floor. Lila held in a laugh, and he put the cucumber in the bag.

"Lila, I honestly am really bad at this sort of thing. I live on coffee and stale doughnuts. Give me direction, I beg of you," he said, giving her a helpless look. She rolled her eyes then took the cart from him and headed away from the vegetables.

"Okay. Fine. Here's how it works. Nothing healthy. Nothing you have to cook. Nothing with more than two syllables," she said, then turned the cart down an aisle. "Here we go. Chips."

Reid nodded, then reached for a bag. She smacked his hand away. "Hey!"

"The ridgey kind," she said, pointing. He frowned at her, then grabbed a bag and put them in the cart.

"What difference does it make?" he asked, examing a bag of tortilla chips.

"Dip, dummy," she said, then grabbed a bag of the tortilla chips.

"That's a little repetetive," he responded dryly and she ignored him. She finished off by plucking a bag of pretzels off the bottom shelf, then dropped them in the cart before pushing out towards another aisle. She selected bags of cookies, a box of strawberry pop tarts, string cheese, ridiculous amounts of candy, and french onion dip. She finished off with a lifetime supply of Jones' Soda, and started towards the check out counter.

"I feel nauseous just looking at all of this," Reid said, staring into the cart.

"Then you can eat your cucumber," she smirked, and he sighed, beginning to unload the groceries onto the counter. The checkout girl, looking mildly horrified, began to scan things. It took her moment before she noticed.

"Hey, aren't you Lila Archer?" she asked. Reid looked over at her, and noted that she already had her false "just for the fans" smile plastered on her face.

"Yes," Lila nodded, then looked away towards the magazines. The checkout girl looked at Reid, then back at Lila, before grinning to herself and looking down at the groceries. The bag boy placed everything in their shopping cart.

"Your total comes to $123.50," the cashier said, and Lila reached for her purse. Reid stopped her.

"I'll pay."

"Spencer..."

He pulled his wallet out of his pocket and flipped it open, hunting for his debit card. He found it after a moment, but not before the cashier and bag boy both took note of his federal ID. They gave each other equally bemused looks as Reid slid his card through the machine and entered his PIN. After a moment, the cashier handed him the receipt and he smiled at her.

"Thanks."

"Have a good evening, sir," the bag boy said, standing up a little straighter. Reid glanced to him and smiled, nodding, then took the cart and pushed it towards the door. When they were nearly out of earshot, he heard the cashier whisper "Did you see that? FBI?"

"I know, right?" replied the bag boy. Reid glanced back at them, eyebrow raised, and the two both looked down at the counter sheepishly.

* * *

"How is it possible that you've never seen this?" Lila asked as she took a DVD out of the stack on the coffee table. Reid eyed the cover.

"I don't know. It was made quite a long time before I was born?" Reid offered, but from the look on her face, he could see that wasn't a decent reason. "I had to read the book in high school. But that was thirteen years ago."

"_To Kill A Mockingbird_ is arguably one of the greatest films ever made. Gregory Peck as Atticus is... God, I can't even describe it."

"Well, put it in, and maybe I'll be able to define it for you," he suggested, pointing at the television. She got up from the couch and put it in.

"Prepare to feel completely useless as a human being," she said as she hit the close button on the DVD player. He looked skeptical, if not a little worried. "Don't worry, afterwards we'll watch _Pulp Fiction_."

When she was settled onto the couch, she picked up the remote, and hit play. As the FBI warning went across the screen, she turned to him.

"Okay, there are movie rules that I must insist you follow."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Okay, first, no talking during the movie."

"What if I have a-"

"No. Talking."

"Okay."

"Second... no fidgeting. It's distracting."

"Understood."

"Next. No pausing."

"What if one of us needs to use the bathroom," he asked, looking slightly amused. She shook her head, staring at him flatly.

"It ruins the flow."

"Am I allowed to breath, at least?" he asked.

"Quietly."

"Fine. Start the movie."

"Do you understand the rules?" she asked. He sighed and nodded. "Okay."

She pushed play on the remote and set it down on the coffee table.

"What's that box?"

"Spencer!"

"I'm kidding."

He fell silent and settled in on the couch.

They watched in silence for along while, until Reid glanced at her.

"You're staring at me," he said, and she smiled.

"I like watching you watch the movie."

"But you keep looking at me when something important is about to happen, so I know it's about to happen."

"You're not supposed to be talking!"

"Then why did you respond?"

"Now we have to go back, you missed stuff," she sighed, picking up the remote.

"Wait, you went too far, I saw this part," he said when she pushed play again.

"Just watch, Spencer," she said, then drew her knees up to her chest and hugged them. He watched her a moment, then looked back at the screen. As Atticus collected his papers, Reid glanced quickly to Lila, who was hugging her knees more tightly. He looked back to the screen.

_"Miss Jean-Louise, stand up. You're father's passing."_

Reid looked back to Lila, finding her wiping her eyes.

"Lila, are you crying?" she glanced to him and then smiled, looking down at her knees.

"That's my favorite part of the whole movie," she said, and Reid couldn't help but smile at her. He moved towards her on the couch, then, after a moment of hesitation, reached around her with one arm and squeezed her shoulders. She leg go of her knees and scooted closer to him, letting his arm drape around her as she leaned against him.

"You're breaking your own rule," he said as she adjusted to get comfortable.

"Shut up."


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: So, you readers are honestly the most wonderful people on earth. Thankyouthankyouthankyou for reviewing, and being so nice about it. I love you ALL. Also, the plot is going to pick up pace, because it occurred to me that it had been 4 chapters in only 24 hours, and I really want this thing to get going, so from now on, the chapters will take place with gaps in between, but I promise, if I decide anything "good" happened in between, I'll let you know. :0) Oh, and brownie points to everyone who noted the Gilmore Girls reference (by reference I mean blatant thieving of dialogue :0x). I love that episode. 

P.S. I'm attempting to create a Criminal Minds fanfiction archive (a Geocities site, the username is "quanticofiction") so let me know if you want to put your fics on it, and tell your friends! It's still under construction, but it should be up and running by the end of the week (if Geocities stops being stupid and doesn't delete everything again like it did earlier today... ::facepalm:: ).

* * *

_Five days later, premiere night, "Another One Bites the Dust"..._

There were photographers everywhere.

Reid had expected this. After all, it was a Hollywood movie premiere, and from what he could gather, there were always photographers hiding somewhere when Lila was around. But, regardless, this time, they were all out in the open, and they were pointing at him.

Well, not him, exactly.

He nervously adjusted his tie.

"Spencer," Lila said out of the corner of her mouth. "Stop fussing."

"Sorry," he responded, then squinted as another bright flash blinded him. He couldn't fathom how she dealt with this every day. But, then again, she wasn't dressed like a pall-bearer. Far from it, in fact.

The dress that she'd selected for the premiere was knee length, and form-fitting, stretching over her curves like it was a second skin. Red as a fire engine, the dress made her rich complextion glow, and her hair, which she'd left down, floating over her shoulders like a lion's mayne. She looked beautiful, and despite his attempts, Reid hadn't been able to take his eyes off her all night.

"Lila! Lila, over here!" called a photographer, and she turned, looking over her shoulder at the man, grinning her "red carpet" grin (prior to the event, she had given Reid a demonstration of all her patented expressions) and she tugged Reid's hand which she (thankfully) had yet to let go of. He turned right as another flash went off. "Lila, who's your friend?"

She hadn't said to anyone yet who Reid was, and it was the fifth or sixth time Reid had heard this same question. He adjusted his tie again.

The pair continued down the red carpet, Lila all the while tugging Reid this way and that, posing and smiling, until finally they drew near the end. A camera man and a representative from Entertainment Tonight stood there, mic in hand. She called for Lila to come over and she obliged.

"Lila, how are you feeling tonight?" the woman asked, shoving the microphone at Lila.

"Great!" Lila exclaimed, and Reid felt her squeeze his hand nervously. She had informed him earlier that interviews made her more nervous than anything, and he squeezed her hand back comfortingly. The correspondent looked at Reid, then back at Lila.

"Who's your friend?" she asked, and Lila cast a look at Reid, grinning. This time it was genuine.

"He's the nicest, smartest, sweetest person I've ever known," Lila said, then she pulled Reid away by the hand, but not before he had the chance to blush for the cameras. When they'd made it into the theater, he stopped her.

"Someone's going to talk about t-" he started to say, but she had suddenly gone onto her toes and slung an arm around his neck and was kissing him, and, a bit surprised (they hadn't kissed or discussed kissing since her goodbye before her photoshoot almost a week earlier) he froze, then relaxed, setting his hands on her face.

"Let 'em talk, Spencer," she said. The corners of his mouth went up slightly, and she wrapped her arm around his waist as they walked in to find their seats.

* * *

Reid's stomach continued to flipflop as the credits continued to roll and the audience applauded. He joined in, but was still feeling sick when everyone began to stand up. The movie, for a comedy, was extremely graphic in it's gory killings, and Reid, who was probably the only person in the audience who had ever seen anything like what was shown on screen, was bothered more than he should be. He was still touchy about seeing these sorts of images after his own incident (as he'd taken to referring to it) and it didn't help that the beautiful girl sitting beside him and holding his hand had been disemboweled in the film. He didn't like seeing things like that anyway, let alone to someone he cared about, even if it was fake. 

When they were outside the theater, heading towards a car, Lila looked up Reid and frowned.

"You're looking a little green, Spencer," she said, stopping in front of the open car door. "You okay?"

He nodded, and it was not at all convincing. "Spencer, what's wrong?"

"Nothing... it's just... all of that..." he jerked his head towards the theater, then made a bit of a gagging noise, then looked down at her, setting his hands on her sides. "I'm used to seeing the after, but not so much of the before."

She frowned, but nodded. "We can go back home if you want. We don't have to go to the after party."

Reid shook his head, then gestured for her to get in the car. "No. You've sacrificed enough for me this week. We're going."

She climbed in and he followed, closing the door. "Spencer, are you s-"

He silenced her with a tentative kiss, and she melted against him. When he pulled back, she took a moment before her eyes slid open.

"Okay... so the we _are_ doing that," she said, nestling into his side. He couldn't help but laugh.

* * *

Reid had never been much of a drinker. He'd had a glass of wine with dinner a few times, and every once in a while Morgan had raided a mini bar while they were on a case and then goaded him into trying whatever concoction he'd made up, but aside from that, he'd never really developed a taste for anything. 

It was this fact that made him surprised when he'd downed several glasses of champagne and was beginning to feel a bit light-headed. Perhaps it had been nerves (it was a large party, and he was always nervous in crowds), or perhaps it had been thirst, because it was warm in the room. He had a hunch, though, that it was a combination of both, neither of which caused by the crowd, and both caused by Lila.

Reid had also never been much of a dancer. This was something that he had tried to keep a secret from everyone for his entire life, but it was just his luck that Lila loved to dance. And when she took hold of his hands and pulled him towards the dance floor, he tried to protest and she kissed him on the mouth. Then his jaw. Then his neck. He was defeated. He wasn't much of a dancer to begin with, but now he could barely walk as she drug him to the middle of the room.

It was after two hours and five consecutive glasses of champagne that he was certain he was drunk. And he wasn't positive, but he was pretty sure he was okay with that. He was dizzy, and warm, and dizzy, and... yes, he was most certainly drunk.

God, she was so close to him. He couldn't feel his feet. Her hands roamed over his jacket as she danced, and he did his best impression of it, which meant shifting his weight from foot to foot and turning in a circle. He was feeling a little sleepy. He could smell her apple scented shampoo. He needed more champagne...

"Do you want to go home?" she asked him suddenly, and he looked down at her with mild surprise. Her eyes seemed to sparkle with some new light he'd not seen before, and he found himself nodding without even a second thought. She took hold of his hand and off they went.

* * *

By the time the two had made it to the front door, Lila had somehow managed to undo half the buttons on Reid's dress shirt. His tie had been loosened much earlier, but now it hung precariously too one side, completed untied and stuck in the collar of his shirt. Lila shoved him through the door and kicked it closed, then pushed him back against it, making his head bounce off the wood. He didn't notice, because she was currently pressing herself so tightly against him that he could barely make a distinction between where he ended and she began. She pushed his jacket down off of his shoulders and it slid to the floor, forgotten. She broke away from him and pulled him after her towards her bedroom. His mouth had gone completely numb. 

Lila pushed Reid backwards into her room, until he eventually tripped over a stray shoe on her floor and fell, luckily, onto her bed. She climbed on top of him, straddling his waist and making quick work of his shirt as she resumed her assault on his mouth. When she came up for air, he spoke.

"You know-" she kissed him again, then moved to kiss his jaw. "I didn't come to California for this. I just wanted you to kn- oh..."

She kissed her way down his neck to his chest and he lost his train of thought. Her hands moved to fumble with his belt and he grabbed them, holding her up and moving to a more comfortable position on her bed. She climbed off of him and sat next to him, attempting to take off one of her shoes, then the other, both of them dropped on the floor. She got back onto her knees and moved back to him, leaning to kiss him again as she reached behind herself to unzip her dress...

...and then Reid's phone rang. Lila pulled back, looking down at his pants, where his cellphone was stowed away in his pocket. Reid went to reach for it, but was too slow, as Lila got to it first and crawled away from him.

"Hey, Lila, give me that-"

She answered quickly, slightly breathless. "Dr. Spencer Reid's phone, thank you for calling. Dr. Reid is extremely busy at the moment, please call b-"

She paused, then blushed and handed him the phone wordlessly. Reid stared at her a moment, then took it and raised it to his ear. "Hello?"

"_Bow chica wow wow..._" came Morgan's voice on the other end and Reid sat up, feeling embarrassed, though he wasn't sure why.

"What, Morgan?"

"Hey, kid, you told me to keep you updated," Morgan said, and Reid could picture the smug grin on the older man's face.

"Yes. Is there a new case?" Reid asked, and Morgan paused. "Derek?"

"Yeah... the case of 'Dr. Spencer Reid is finally getting some love'... and it's all over the TV."

"I really, honestly could not despise you more, Derek Morgan."

"Night, Reid," Morgan said and the line went dead. Reid fell back against the headboard, then turned off his phone and dropped in on the night stand. He looked back at Lila, who was staring at him, biting down on her lower lip.

"So..."

And then they were kissing again, and Reid was thankful that his phone was off.

* * *

_"I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry..."_

_"What are you sorry for, boy?"_

_"I sent her away..."_

_"Who?"_

_"My mom... I couldn't... I couldn't help her."_

_"That a confession?"_

_A nod._

_"I confess."_

_"You know yer Bible. Exodus 21:17."_

_"And he that curseth his father or his mother... shall surely be put to death."_

_The shackles loosened._

_"Grab a shovel."

* * *

_

Reid cried out in his sleep and bolted upright, gasping. Lila, whose head had been laying on Reid's chest woke as suddenly, frightened, and sat up as well, finding him clutching his chest. She set her hand on his back.

"Spencer? What's wrong?"

"And he that curseth his father or his mother shall surely be put to death," he mumbled, shaking all over. "And he that curseth his father or his mother shall surely be put to death..."

Lila wrapped her arms around him tightly and pulled him to her. "Shh... Spencer, it's okay... you're okay... just calm down..."

She ran one of her hands up and down his back, using the other to smooth his hair. He leaned against her, eyes welling.

"And he that curseth his father or his mother shall surely be put to death..."


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: There's only one more chapter of this left after this one, and an epilogue, but there is a sequel in my head. There's just only so much you can do with 'Reid goes to California' as the plot, you know? Thanks again to all who are reviewing. In response to a few specific ones: 

_LNFPH4077_: I agree, it was soon to get them into bed, but I wanted the plot to progress more quickly, and I decided that with Reid's current emotional status, as well as Lila's, the two of them weren't really in the sort of mindset to analyze their relationship to decide if they were "ready". Also, I made them intoxicated for the same reason. People do stupid things when they're drunk, even if they are geniuses.

_To everyone who commented on Morgan's phonecall_: I'm glad that you guys appreciated that, because I wasn't sure I was completely happy with it. I am now, as it got a good response, but I wonder about things like that.

_mabelreid_: I'm glad you think he's in character, because that's my biggest worry with this story.

To everyone else, and the ones I've mentioned, I do honestly appreciate your reviews, and if you've any criticism to give my story, I welcome that as well. It can only help me improve. Also, I'm a bit worried with my characterization of Reid's mother, so any feedback on that is appreciated. It's hard to do Jane Lynch.

Anyhoo, on to chapter 6.

* * *

_Three days later, Nevada._

"Miss Archer?"

Lila looked up from where she'd been staring at her hands to find a nurse looking down at her, smiling sympathetically. She held out a cup of coffee and Lila sat up, taking it.

"Thank you," Lila sighed, then sat back in her seat. The nurse sat down next to her.

"I'm Sarah," the nurse said, holding out her hand. Lila shook it. "I've worked with Dr. Reid's mother for a while now, so I know him pretty well. Is he doing okay?"

Lila looked down at the coffee in her hands. Should she say anything?

"No... he's not," Lila said sadly, then glanced up at the open door to the sitting room, where Reid had gone to speak with his mother. The nurse frowned.

"What happened?" Sarah asked, then stopped herself. "Well, you don't have to tell me... it's really none of my business." She moved to stand, but Lila stopped her, placing a hand on her arm. Sarah sat back down.

"It's not really my place to say, but I'll just say that he went through something really awful just recently... with his job... he hasn't been quite right since." Lila got to her feet and moved a little closer to the door, peering in. Reid was speaking to his mother, who seemed to not even be listening, but she appeared to be doodling in a notebook.

Lila went back to her chair. "I don't know what to do for him. The other day, he woke up screaming in the middle of the night, and I couldn't do anything to help him. He just kept repeating the same quote, over and over again. It scared the hell out of me..."

"What was the quote?" Sarah asked quietly. Lila shrugged.

"Something from the Bible, I think. Something about not honoring your parents?"

"And he that curseth his father or his mother shall surely be put to death," Sarah said, then frowned and got up to go to the door. A look of recognition crossed Lila's face.

"How did you...?"

"When she first came here, Diana wouldn't say anything except quotes from things she'd read. That was the only thing she said for the entire first day she was here," Sarah explained, looking in the door. Reid was holding on to his mother's hand, but she still wasn't looking at him. "She used to write Dr. Reid letters that said nothing but that. She forgave him, eventually, for sending her here, but he's had a lot of guilt ever since... he was so young when she arrived..."

"How old was he?" Lila asked, but she couldn't help feeling like she was prying into a part of Reid's personal life that she had no right knowing. Sarah turned back to her.

"Eighteen. He'd just turned eighteen."

Lila looked down at her coffee.

* * *

"Mom?"

Reid had sat down in the chair beside the couch she was perched on, and he noted that she was writing in her book, as she always was. She didn't look up when he spoke, but her pen paused on her paper.

"Spencer," she said with a small nod before resuming her writing. Reid swallowed, then looked down at his lap.

"How are you?" he asked, and she finally looked up.

"Oh, I'm fine, sweetheart, how are you?" she asked, pleasantly, and Reid sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I... I'm not sure..." he said, honestly, and Diana set her pen down.

"What's wrong?" she asked, now looking worried. She reached into the pocket of her sweater and pulled out a stack of letters, bound by a rubber band. "Did you write about it in your letters?"

She began flipping through them, but he set his hand on them and lowered them to her lap.

"No, Mom, I didn't write about it." He sighed, then stood up, beginning to pace.

"Spencer, you're making me nervous," Diana said as she watched him walk back and forth, and he had to fight back the urge to say "As usual". He paused and looked down at her.

"I've been having...nightmares."

"Well, over course you would. I saw those pictures at your office. It's no wonder."

"No, Mom, you don't... I was... involved in a kidnapping recently."

"Well, isn't that common in your line of work, Spencer?"

"No... I was kidnapped. Me. Personally."

"Oh... well, go on then."

Reid watched his mother's calm expression remain and he sat down next to her, almost glad that she was showing no emotions.

"I... I can't shake him. He's always there, in the back of my mind. I see him out of the corners of my eyes when I'm walking down the street."

"Well, they must have caught him, so you're just being silly, Spencer," she said simply, then picked up her pen and began writing again. Reid sighed.

"You're over-simplifying, Mom," he said, and she didn't respond. "I need your help."

He reached a tentative hand over and took hold of one of hers. Her pen paused on the paper.

"You're not weak, Spencer," she said. "You told me that once. You're strong. You're strong, and you're so very intelligent. You've got all the help you need, right here."

She set down her pen and lifted her hand to brush the top of his head. "It's all right here."

Reid's eyes closed for a moment when she touched his head, then she withdrew her hand and went back to writing. He swallowed and stood up, reaching into his bag.

"Mom, I brought you this," he said, handing her a brown package. She took it and set it down beside her.

"Thank you."

He nodded, then leaned forward, kissing her delicately on the forehead. "I love you, Mom."

"I love you, Spencer. Come back soon."

"I will, I promise."

He looked at her sadly one last time, then walked towards the door. He paused when he reached it and looked back at his mother, who was running her hand over the smooth brown paper on the package. He inhaled slowly, then left the room.

Lila and Sarah had both been pacing in front of the door when they saw Reid stand and head in their direction. They backed away when he reached them. Reid cast a smile at Sarah, and then looked to Lila, who looked like he felt.

"Are you... okay?" she asked.

"I... I think I am. Finally."

He smiled and set a hand on her shoulder and she laid her cheek on it before reaching around his waist and hugging him tightly. He hugged her back, his small pillar of strength that didn't look like she felt so strong anymore.

* * *

The two weeks the followed were calm. Lila was happy to see that Reid's nightmares had subsided or, at least seemed to, though it was a fact that they hadn't done much sleeping during the night since they'd gone back to California after Reid's visit with his mother. She had missed her second movie premiere while they were in Nevada, and she had nearly slapped her agent when she told her how irresponsible she had been by leaving on such an 'important weekend'.

To Lila, nothing was more important than keeping Reid safe, mentally. It had been Gideon's suggestion that she take him to Nevada to visit his mother. She had called him the night Reid had awoken, terrified, not sure what else to do. He had given her a number to call to arrange the visit, and she thanked him and began packing the moment she'd hung up the phone.

She had never been more worried about anything in her entire life. Reid had never been more grateful.

The two had spent every day together since they'd returned, sitting and watching movies, swimming in her pool, and reading together. Sometimes, they sat for hours on the patio, Reid's head lying in her lap while he read a book aloud to her, or he told her stories that he remembered from things he read as a child. His nerves were still a bit shot, and he had moments where he had grown jumpy, but for the most part, he was back to normal, or as normal as he would ever be. One day, they laid in bed, talking about how they felt during their own ordeals. They're separate experiences made them closer, and it wasn't until the day before he was to leave that Reid realized he loved her.

This thought struck him as odd, because he'd always been under the impression that it took years to know a person enough to love them, but he couldn't deny himself the right to feel. He always wondered if he would ever fall in love, and now that he had this feeling, he was certain that it had happened.

They had spent their last two days at Lila's home, moving from her bed, to her living room and back to her bed, and he'd woken up early in the morning on the second day. She was curled into the crook of his arm, her hand splayed across his chest. His fingers were tangled in her hair when he'd woken, and when he turned onto his side to watch her sleep, he felt something in his gut that hadn't been there before. Or maybe it had, but suddenly, it was as obvious as a neon sign. Her gentle breath on his skin, the feel of her body pressed against his. Leaving her was going to be one of the hardest things he'd ever do.

He leaned his head to inhale the scent of her hair, and it was at this moment that her eyes opened and she looked up at him sleepily.

"Good morning," she said groggily. He watched her, then leaned towards her, his nose touching hers.

"I love you, Lila," he said, with no warning, and she fell back onto her pillow, looking up him with wide eyes.

"You... you what?" she asked after a moment, her head tilted to one side.

"I love you," he said. She sat up slowly, pulling the sheet against her chest as she leaned against the headboard.

"Spencer... I... are you sure it's not... transference or whatever you call it?"

"It's not, Lila. I love you. And I'm not telling you this because you've helped me, or because I want some sort of much needed validation that someone loves me back... I just do. And I needed you to know that."

He laid back down on his own pillow, and she felt her throat closing up. Her eyes filled with tears, and she didn't know why, and because she couldn't speak, she scrunched back down beside him and rolled into him, pressing her lips to his urgently, putting everything she couldn't say to him into her kiss. He didn't know then that it was the first time anyone had said those words to her, or that she had been wanting to say the same thing for days, but he felt her meaning in her passion, and his arm went around her waist as his hand went into her hair, and he rolled on top of her, his mouth exploring hers, his hands roaming over her skin. Her hands gripped his back, then his shoulders, then she placed them on his cheeks and pulled her face away from his, holding him just millimeters from her mouth.

"I do love you, Lila," he whispered, his breathing heavy. "I love you more than I can put into words."

She stroked his cheek tenderly, her face breaking into a soft smile. "Then don't use words."

He closed the distance between their mouths, and they both knew that words weren't strong enough to say to each other the way that they both felt. They knew that they would never need words.

* * *

"Do you have your ticket?"

Lila's hand clung to Reid's as they sat side by side on the benches in the airport. He nodded, and she bit down on her lip, doing her best not to cry.

"Final boarding call, flight 1036 to Phoenix. Final boarding call, 1036 to Phoenix!" announced a voice over the loudspeaker. Reid stood up, and Lila followed suit. He set down his bag, then wrapped his arms around her tightly. She pressed her face into his chest and he kissed her hair.

"I love you," he whispered into her ear and she looked up at him, trying to smile.

"Too much," she whispered back, then raised her head to kiss him. "But not half as much as I do you."

He laughed, sadly. "That's an argument that no one can ever win. There's no way to gauge it, and-"

She kissed him again, then stepped back. Her eyes were glassy, but she hadn't cried yet. He was glad.

"I have to go," he said, pushing her hair back from her face. She nodded.

"I know..." She watched him pick up his bag and set the strap on his shoulder.

"Let's not say goodbye, okay?" Her voice cracked, and she bit down on her lip again. "'Cause, I'm not so sure that I can handle that."

"Okay," he said, then pressed his lips softly to her forehead. "I'll call you on the plane."

"Okay."

He gave her one final hug, then started away, holding her hand until the last possible moment, when they couldn't reach anymore. He looked back at her and waved, and she tried to smile as she waved back. Finally, he turned and disappeared through the gate and she walked up to the window to look wait for his plane to take off. It was a small plane, just a puddle-jumper to a longer flight home, and she could see him sit down in his seat. He turned and looked out the window. She pressed her hand against the glass, glad that, for once, her celebrity status had come in handy when she'd been allowed past the ticket counters. He did the same, and she stayed that way until his plane was out of sight before curling her hand into a fist and stepping away from the window. She crossed back to the bench, inhaling deeply, then sat down. She cast one last look out the window, seeing the staircase pull back towards the building, then she buried her face in her hands.

* * *

Reid withdrew his hand from the window and sat back in his chair, squeezing his eyes closed tightly, his hands wringing in his lap. He didn't notice that the burly man seated next to him was staring at him. He opened his eyes and looked at him when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Hey, kid, you alright?" the man asked, and Reid looked out the window once more as the plane lifted off from the ground. He turned and looked back at the man, smiling half-heartedly.

"Yeah... I'm fine. Thanks."

The man nodded, then settled back into his seat and the two fell into a comfortable silence, staring ahead. And twenty-four hours later, when he finally landed in Washington, DC, he still hadn't experienced any sudden bought of emotions. But, when he rode the escalator to the baggage claim, and saw Garcia standing there, grinning and holding a sign with his name on it, he suddenly couldn't take it anymore and he fell against a railing, sobbing.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: The final chapter before the epilogue. I hope you all enjoy it. Also, I wrote this chapter half at my house, and half on my friend's laptop while I was sitting in the student lounge at my school, so if there are any errors in grammar or spelling, I apologize. Let me know, and I'll fix them later.

* * *

Reid fell back into the swing of things more easily than anyone could've guessed he would. He'd been back to his old self since he'd returned, that next morning after he'd gotten back to Virginia, and, aside from his episode at the airport, about which he had sworn Garcia to secrecy, he had been calm, cool, and collected.

He was the first to arrive at the office on his first day back, and he'd stayed perched in his chair in front of his desk, waiting, his hands folded across his stomach. Then he rested them on top of desk. Then he tapped them impatiently on the arms of his chair. Then he rolled his chair backwards and walked to the break room to make a pot of coffee. He poured himself a cup, loaded it down with sugar, then carried it back to his desk and sat, and waited some more.

"Reid!" called a female voice from behind him when he was at the point of thinking no one was going to be there. He turned in his chair to see JJ, still wearing her coat, strolling towards him, her blond ponytail swinging behind her. He stood, and she hugged him tightly. "I'm so glad you're back. We missed you."

Reid smiled and sat down, taking a sip of his coffee. JJ took off her coat and slung it over her arm, then sat leaned on the edge of his desk. "I missed this place, too. It was weird, having free time for the first time in six years."

"I'd imagine. You'll never believe how slow it's been since you were gone," JJ said, shaking her head. "It's almost like they've been waiting for you to come back."

As if on cue, a phone could be heard in the distance, and JJ slid off the desk. "Speak of the devil..."

She squeezed his shoulder lightly as she passed, then hurried off to her office to answer the phone, just as another pair of voices came into earshot.

"Slaughterhouse-Five," Morgan said, and Emily Prentiss groaned.

"Okay... 'All this happened, more or less. The war parts, anyway, are pretty much true. One guy I knew really was shot in Dresden-"

"Faster."

"...for takin'a teapot that wasn'tis."

"Faster."

"AnotherguyIknewreallydidthreatentohavehispersenem-UGH!"

"Fail."

"You suck, Morgan," Emily said, pushing him lightly, then her eyes landed on Reid. "Oh. Hey, you're back."

Reid stood up. "Yeah. I'm back."

"How's your lady?" Morgan asked with a smirk and Reid scowled at him.

"Shut up."

Morgan punched Reid lightly on the shoulder as he passed, and Emily started to follow, but Reid grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Uh, Emily, I just... I wanted to apologize for how I treated you," he said, a bit sheepishly, and she turned back to him.

"Reid..."

"No. I was rude, and there's no excuse for it. So, I am sorry."

"Well, apology accepted and completely unnecessary," she said, smiling at him. "Welcome back."

"Thanks," Reid said, and she walked away, just as Reid felt hands on his shoulders.

"Hello, precious," Garcia said as she stood on tiptoe to hug him from behind. He tilted his head back slightly so he could see her and she kissed him on the cheek. "How ya doin'?"

"Good," he said and she let him go, moving around to stand in front of him, her eyes narrowed incredulously.

"Promise?" she asked, sticking out her pinky.

"I swear," he said, linking his pinky with hers. She grinned.

"Good to hear, doll face, good to hear."

"I completely agree."

"Have you talked to Lila?" she asked, and he leaned against his desk, looking down at the floor.

"Not for a few days. I called her yesterday, but I got her voicemail. She must be busy."

"I'm sure she is," Garcia said with an emphatic nod. "Nothing to be worried about I'm sure."

"Yeah..."

"Reid?"

Reid turned his head to find Hotch standing there. Reid smiled at him.

"Yes?"

"Nothing. Welcome back." Reid watched him walk away, and Garcia shrugged her shoulders.

"As you can see, he's still surly."

"Good to know."

"Everyone to the conference room," Gideon said as he walked through the door. He had already headed in that direction, and said this in passing. Reid and Garcia exchanged looks, then Reid picked up a notepad and a pencil and the two wandered after him. Gideon stopped him as he went through the door.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, and Reid shrugged.

"Fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Would I lie about it?" Gideon stared at him, her brow furrowed. Reid rephrased. "Well, I mean, why would I, since you'd know anyway."

"Welcome back, Dr. Reid."

"Thank you, sir."

JJ had already set up the projection screen and turned it on when the two entered and were seated.

"Chicago, Illinois. Clark and Belmont. Three leading guitarist from bands in the area were shot to death, long range, while leaving gigs from local nightclubs."

She handed out files to each team member, then pushed a button on the remote. "Riley Thomas." Click. "Brent Michaels." Click. "Byron Taylor."

"They're ages range from twenty-three to twenty-six, but all have played in a band with this girl." Click. "Jayne Rubleski. Other than them being guitarists, she's the only link between the three, but local police interviewed her and came up with nothing."

"She didn't arise any suspicions?" Hotch asked, looking through the file.

"None," JJ said, shaking her head. "As far as anyone can tell, she was friends with all of them, and continued to be after they stopped playing together."

"She could still be connected. In the case of the Gibson killer, the killer admitted to stalking the lead singer of the band Oedipus is Burning, and began killing her former bandmates after he learned basic chords on the guitar, in hopes of taking their places in her life," Reid said, and a few eyes turned to him. "It could be a similar MO."

"Everyone go home and pack, meet back here in twenty minutes," Gideon said, and the group stood up, collecting their belongings. Gideon pulled Reid aside.

"Are you sure you're up to this?" he asked, and Reid stepped back, nodding. Gideon cupped him on the shoulder. "Okay"

The plane home from Chicago was one of the most comfortable rides Reid had ever taken with his team. He felt so calm in their presence that he almost forgot everything that had happened to him in the past three months. He played cards with JJ, and they had a long discussion about the history of playing cards (or rather, Reid talked, and JJ half-listened, all the while trying to get the nine of clubs). Normalcy had been restored to his life, and he was glad to be in the company of all of his colleagues again.

Everything was business as usual at the BAU. Cases were called in, the team packed up, they flew off to their locations, they flew back, and they started all over again.

Reid kept in loose touch with Lila over the next month. Along with his own busy schedule, Lila had started filming a new movie, and they were gone so much of the time that they spoke more over one another's voicemails than anything else.

Reid confided in Garcia that he wasn't sure he could continue like this. She informed him that, "in the immortal words of Pat Benetar," love was a battlefield, and he conceeded that she was right, and he wasn't ready to give up just yet. He blushed slightly when Garcia told him that she was proud of him.

One morning, the team was seated in the conference room. A new case had just come in.

"In the case of Mary Bell, she pretended not to know, then attempted to blame her-"

Reid trailed off when the knock came. The whole team looked to the door. No one knocked when they were in a meeting. Everyone knew that. Morgan was closest to the door, so he stood up and opened it slowly. When it was opened, he took a step back, slightly surprised.

"Uh... Reid... I think it's for you," he said, a tinge of confusion in his voice. Reid stood and looked past him. He couldn't see the face of the girl standing outside, but he didn't need to. He stepped quickly to the door.

"Lila..." he breathed, then swallowed. "Lila, what are you doing here?"

"I... I need to talk to you."

"We're in the middle of discussing a case... can it-"

"It's important, Spencer."

Reid looked helplessly at his superiors. Gideon and Hotch exchanged glances, then Gideon nodded at him for confirmation that he could be excused. Reid stepped out of the room, pulling the door closed behind him.

"Lila, what are you doing here?" Reid asked when they'd stepped away from the door. She looked up at him, worry obvious in her eyes. She took hold of his hands for a moment, then let them go and wrapped her arms around him tightly. He reciprocated, smoothing her hair. "What's wrong, Lila?"

She pulled back from him and looked up at him, her nerves apparent in the furrow of her brow. She looked away from him and placed her hands on the railing, looking over the office.

"I'm pregnant, Spencer."

And just like that, Reid's world went black.

* * *

"Reid? Reid!" 

Morgan shook the smaller man's shoulder and Reid opened his eyes, bolting upright. JJ was standing over them, her cellphone pressed to her ear. When he sat up, she flipped it closed.

"What... what happened?"

"You passed out, man," Morgan said, helping Reid back to his shaky feet.

"Oh. Ohh...where's Lila?"

Eyeing Reid's sudden expression change, Morgan and JJ exchanged a conscerned look.

"She's with Garcia," JJ said. "She was cry-"

"Hey, what's going on?!" called Morgan when Reid sped away from them and hurried down the steps towards Garcia's office. The door was closed when he got there, and he knocked timidly.

The door swung open almost as soon as he touched it, and Garcia sttod, giving him the most serious of stares.

"Is she...?"

"Yes, she is," Garcia said, then leaned towards him. He resisted the urge to duck.

"You better fix this, Reid, or I'll kill you," she hissed."I'm not kidding."

He nodded, and she let him pass, closing the door behind him and leaning against it as Morgan walked up.

"What's with all the drama?" he asked, then he smirked. "What, is she pregnant or something?"

When Garcia didn't smile, Morgan's eyes widened.

"That was a _joke_. Oh...damn..."

He pulled up the chair from the nearest desk and sat beside her, posting himself alongside her at the door.

* * *

"I am so sorry," Reid began when the door closed. Lila sat in Garcia's desk chair, her eyes red, hands folded in her lap. She wouldn't look at him, and he frowned. "I didn't mean to do that. I was surprised, and it didn't-" 

"Spencer, I just told you that you're going to be a father, and you fainted. If you're about to tell me it didn't mean anything, you're a liar," Lila said, turning in the chair to face the computer monitors.

"It does mean something," he said, taking a step closer to her. "It means that I am apparently a wimpy little girl, because men, as a general rule, aren't supposed to faint." He took another step towards her. "We're supposed to get knocked out, or pass out... something about being more rugged."

Lila bit down hard on her lip, trying to hold back a smile. "Don't make me laugh. This isn't supposed to be funny."

"It's not," Reid said, placing his hands on the back of her chair and turning her to face him. He knelt in front of her, and set his hands on hers. "I... Lila, you know I love you, right?"

"If I'm to believe the things you say to me, yes," she said, nodding.

"Well... I love you, so... this is okay," he said, then cursed himself at his ineloquence. "We'll work it out."

"It's not that easy, Spencer," she said, then got to her feet, causing him to make an akward step back on his knees and then push himself up. "I... we live on opposite sides of the country."

"So move here. Live with me," he said quickly.

"How? What about my career?"

"Lot's of actors don't live in LA."

"What about your career?" He stared at her a moment, then shook his head.

"That's not even an issue."

"How can you be so sure of everything?" she asked. He looked thoughtful for a moment, then smiled.

"Because, I'm sure that I love you, and being sure of that makes me sure about everything else," he said. Her eyes grew glassy, and she finally smiled, for the first time since she'd appeared outside the conference room.

"God, you're too good to me," she said, shaking her head.

"Nothing is too good for you, Lila," he replied, then reached out, wiping the tears from her cheeks with his thumb. She took hold of his hand in both of hers and kissed it. Then she let it go, setting both her hands on his chest. He leaned his forehead onto hers, wrapping his arms around her.

"You're having a baby," he said, as if he needed to say it out loud to make sure it was real.

"We. We're having a baby."

"Yeah. I guess we are."

Then he kissed her, and she was sure everything was going to work out.


	8. Epilogue

A/N: The end. I hope you like it.

* * *

_Tell it to me slow  
Tell me with your eyes  
If anyone should know  
How to let it slide  
I swear I can see you  
Coming up the drive  
And there ain't nothing like regret  
To remind you you're alive_

_If you could only see  
What love has made of me  
Then I'd no longer be in your mind  
**The difficult kind**_  
-"The Difficult Kind", Sheryl Crow

* * *

_"And do you, Spencer, take Lila to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, 'til Death parts you?"_

_Spencer Reid's fingers shook in the hands of his bride, and he looked up at her face. She smiled at him, her eyes rimmed with glassy tears. He looked at the man standing before them._

_"I... "

* * *

_

Reid sat up in his bed, leaning his back against the headboard and staring up at ceiling. He hadn't slept through the night in weeks.

It wasn't that he didn't want to marry Lila. He did. He knew that. But that dream... it felt so real. Why did he always hesitate? Why did he always wake up feeling queasy?

He looked beside him, to where Lila slept, her hair pulled to the side of her head in a messy ponytail and her body curled around a pillow. She was so beautiful. He wondered how she had ended up with him... how he could be so undeservingly lucky.

He turned away and looked at the digital clock on his nightstand. It blinked "5:36" over and over at him, which he knew meant it was only four in the morning, because the clock had been blinking at him since daylight savings time, and he just hadn't taken the initiative to fix it once he figure out it was an hour and thirty-six minutes fast. He cautiously climbed out of bed, carefully not to wake her, and crossed the room, picking up his t-shirt from the night before and slipping it over his head. He cast one last look at Lila, curling more tightly around the pillow, and left the room, heading towards the small kitchen.

When he reached it, he mechanically began a pot of coffee. When he heard it begin to drip into the pot, he went into the living room and opened the front door, stepping out into the chilly fall air to pick up the newspaper, which he knew, from his previous early mornings, had just been tossed at his door moments earlier. He paused on the porch, inhaling the cool slowly through his nose as he looked out over his neighborhood. Everything was still this early, and he liked observing that.

He turned and went back inside.

When he went back into the kitchen, the coffee pot was only half full, so he took a mug down from the cabinet and wiped it on the towel hanging from the handle on the stove, then he set the mug down next to the coffee pot and went to the refridgerator.

It was nearly bare, and he frowned, realizing he'd forgotten to go grocery shopping the previous evening as he'd been coming home from work. He closed the refridgerator door and went to one of the cupboards, pulling out a box of instant oatmeal that he'd been avoiding for quite some time.

He pulled a bowl out of the cabinet and wiped it clean, then set it down on the counter. He opened the box, pulling out two packets, and wondering at the same time why they made the packets so small with oatmeal, when clearly one was not enough for anyone but a small child. He squeezed the packages to break apart any lumps inside of them, then poured them into the bowl. He ran the bowl under the tap quickly, careful not to get too much water, then swirled the oatmeal with his finger. He popped open the microwave door and put the bowl inside it, then pushed the door closed, hit the 'Instant Minute' button, and went back to the now full pot of coffee.

He poured himself a cup, then put the pot back on the burner. He went back to the refridgerator, reaching far into the back for a bottle of creamer, then went back to the counter. He flipped open the cap with his thumb, poured a considerable amount into his cup, then closed and put it back. The microwave beeped, demanding Reid's attention, and he turned, placing his cup on the island in the middle of the kitchen. He pulled a spoon out of the dish drainer on the counter, then went to get his oatmeal. He returned to the island, setting down his bowl and spoon, then reached for the newspaper as he sat on one of the stools.

The rubberband snapped when Reid tried to pull it off, hitting his finger, and he put the finger in his mouth for a moment, then opened the paper and reached for his spoon. He took a bite, then heard a rumbling on the counter. He turned on his stool and picked up his cellphone, which read '1 New Txt Msg'. Flipping it open, he saw that it was from Garcia. He hit view.

_"You're getting married today,"_ he read, then snapped the phone closed.

He was.

Now when was he going to go grocery shopping?

* * *

"What did you do to this thing, Reid?"

"I don't know."

Morgan tugged at the ends of Reid's bow-tie, pulling it untied. "Didn't you ever go to a prom or something?"

"I was twelve when I graduated high school, Morgan, so naturally I went with the head cheerleader," Reid responded dryly, giving him a flat look, and Morgan closed his mouth, fixing the tie in silence.

When it was fixed, Morgan turned Reid to face the mirror, standing next to him. Reid frowned.

"You look better in a tuxedo than I do, Morgan," Reid said, turning his head to look at him. Morgan smirked.

"Yeah, well... what can you do?"

Reid sighed, then went to sit in one of the chairs, dropping his head into his hand. Morgan turned to him, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Reid, man, are you okay?"

Reid nodded, unconvincingly, and Morgan sat down next him.

"What's the deal, man?" Morgan asked, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. "You're not pregnant, are you?"

Reid scowled at him. "You're hilarious, Morgan."

"I'm just playin'," Morgan said, then frowned. "What's got you so wound up? I mean, I know you're supposed to be nervous, but you seem a lot more than nervous. Apprehensive."

Reid sighed again, leaning back in his chair and looking up at the ceiling.

"Swear to me you won't say anything to anyone else."

"I swear, man, what is it?" Morgan prodded, and Reid looked back to him.

"I... I've been having these weird dreams. Where we're in the middle of the ceremony, and we're at the 'I dos', and when it gets to me, I always hesitate. Then I wake up."

"...and?"

"And what? That's it."

"You're this wound up about a stupid dream?" Morgan asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's not a stupid dream," Reid said, pushing himself to his feet. "Dreams are manifestations of the subconscious. Statistically, dreams are-"

"Reid?"

"Sorry."

Reid paced back and forth across the room. Morgan watched him, sitting up.

"Look, Reid. You want to marry her, right? You love her and all that?"

"Of course."

"Then don't hesitate. Just do it."

"You really think it's that simple, Morgan?" Reid asked, stopping mid stride and turning to him.

"Yeah... I do."

"Clearly, you have problem saying it," Reid said, frowning. "Maybe you should marry her."

"Don't tempt me, Reid," Morgan grinned. "Though, I don't know if I'd wanna take credit for that little you inside her."

"I don't imagine anyone would," Reid said, then he sighed again and sat back down.

* * *

Lila examined herself in profile in the mirror. Her gown, a candle light white lace gown that cascaded to the floor, fit snugly over her enormous stomach. Or, at least, she felt it was enormous.

"You make me sick," Garcia said, walking up beside her. "You're eight and a half months pregnant, and we wear the same size."

"Oh, you're lying," Lila said, turning to smile at her. "I'm huge."

She ran a hand over her stomach, feeling a tiny kick against her palm. Garcia watched her, smiling softly.

"You're lucky, you know," she said after a moment, and Lila turned to look at her.

"I know," Lila said, nodding.

"Reid is a really good person," Garcia said, taking hold of Lila's hands and squeezing them. Lila smiled again.

"I know," she repeated, more emphatically. Garcia nodded, then leaned forward to kiss Lila on the cheek.

"Congratulations," she said. "I know you'll make him happy."

"I hope so," Lila said, then turned back to look at herself in the mirror as Garcia put her veil in place.

* * *

The wedding was a small affair. Neither Reid nor Lila had invited many people. Lila's mother and stepfather had flown in the previous night, and Reid's father had come with his wife and their daughter. Reid's mother was there, too, looking healthier than anyone had seen her in a long time. She had remained on Gideon's arm for the course of the day, a small favor from Gideon to Reid, which Reid was immensely grateful for.

As far as friends went, there weren't many. The members of Reid's team had arrived, Hotch with Hailey on his arm, and JJ with a date that it had taken Reid a while to recognize as Detective LaMontagne, whom she'd met when they were in New Orleans. He had forgotten that the pair had been keeping in touch since they'd been there, and from the cozy look of the two of them together, Reid guessed they'd been more than 'keeping in touch'. Emily was there, looking lovely, and, as a huge surprise to everyone but Reid, Elle had snuck in the back of the church, taking a seat where she wouldn't be noticed, and where she could sneak off quickly. She had promised him she would show up, and he had taken her at her word, which he knew she was good for.

A few friends of Lila's had made the trip as well. Her agent and her publicist were there, though Lila suspected that had nothing to do with sharing in Lila's happiness, and more to do with how they could make money from it in the media. A few co-stars from her past were there, including the entire casts of 'Dust', and her next film, 'Darling Nikki'. The cast of the movie she had finished filming right before her move had also arrived, and Lila had been happy to see everyone, but it was bittersweet, because all of these people made her wish that Michael was there.

Gideon was there, of course, escorting Reid's mother. Garcia and Morgan were the only members of the wedding party.

Reid's hands were shaking when he and Morgan stepped out and stood at the altar. Morgan reached to him and squeezed his shoulder reassuringly as the doors at the back of the church opened and Garcia stepped through, holding a single yellow rose in her hands. Her hair was down, naturally curled around her shoulders, and Reid was almost surprised at how pretty she looked. He'd never thought of her as a girl before, but in the light blue dress, she was hardly recognizable as the quirky computer tech they all knew and loved. Reid glanced sideways to Morgan, who was looking at her not with a look of awe as Reid was, but a look of great approval. Reid smiled lightly at the wink she cast them. Morgan was grinning as she stepped up opposite them on the altar.

The music swelled through the room, and the small gathering of guests rose to their feet and turned to welcome the bride.

Lila's arm was curled through her stepfather's, and Reid's breath caught in his throat at the sight of her. Her dress gave her the illusion that she was glowing, and her hair hair, half up and half down, fell around her face in the perfect frame. She was smiling her light half smile, and when she started down the aisle, her eyes met Reid's and locked with them. Reid didn't blink until she was standing next to him.

Lila's stepfather lifted her veil over her head, leaning forward to kiss her lightly on the cheek, then he took a seat next to his wife, taking hold of her hand.

The ceremony wasn't a traditional one. The minister was a younger man, and he had given Reid and Lila permission to do with his words what they wished. Reid had taken the initiative to put everything together. There were a few passages from the Bible, as well as many more from literature, and Reid didn't have to see his mother to know she was mouthing the words right along. He was doing the same.

The time came to exchange vows, and Lila went first. She held Reid's hands tightly in her own.

"Do you feel anything yet?" she asked, and Reid's face broke into a wide grin. "I don't have some big long eloquent thing prepared to say to you. I wracked my brain for weeks, and came up with nothing that could suitably explain what I wanted to say to you."

She paused, swallowing, then began again, her voice shaking. "I love you, Spencer. You've saved my life, more than once, and without you, I would be lost."

She bit down on her lip lightly, her eyes beginning to tear up. Reid lifted his hand to wipe them for her, and she mouthed a thank you. Reid took a deep breath.

"Lila... when I'm near you, I feel like a different person. You make me better than myself. You are the most important thing in the world to me, and you have made me happier than I could've ever imagined being for as long as I live. I would be nothing without waking up next to you, without hearing you laugh, without feeling your fingers laced with mine."

He paused, taking another deep breath. "You've shown me who I am. And for that, I thank you. I love you."

He squeezed her hands and she took one away, turning her face away from him to wipe her eyes again. She smiled broadly when she turned back to him.

The minister took a step forward.

"Lila..."

"Yes?"

"Do you take Spencer to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, 'til Death parts you?"

Lila looked to the minister, then back at Reid. "I do."

"Spencer..."

"Yes?"

"Do you take Lila to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, 'til Death parts you?"

Reid smiled. "I-"

"Ah."

Reid looked down at Lila, who had suddenly grimaced, squeezing his hand painfully in her own. She looked up at him after a few moments, nodding that she was okay.

"I do," Reid finished, and cast a look at Morgan, who was smiling almost smugly.

"The rings please."

Morgan reached into his pocket and extracted the rings, holding them out to the minister. He handed them to Reid and Lila.

"Lila, repeat after me. With this ring..."

"With this ring..."

"...I thee wed."

"...I thee wed," she finished, sliding the ring onto Reid's finger.

"Spencer, repeat after me. With this ring..."

"With this ring..."

"...I thee wed."

"...I thee-"

"Ahh."

There was another tight grip on his fingers and Lila looked up at him, biting her lip.

"...wed," Reid finished, then slid the ring onto Lila's finger quickly.

"And with the power vested in me by the state of Virginia, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Reid didn't seem to notice him saying this, because Lila was still grimacing and gripping his hand so tightly that his fingers were numb. She apparently heard the minister, because she kissed him quickly, earning an applause from the small crowd. Then Lila let out another yelp of pain and Reid looked to Morgan helplessly. He stepped up in front of them.

"Hey, everybody. Looks like things are going a little off schedule, because it would appear that Lila has to go give birth now. So, if everyone would like to go ahead and make their way to the reception hall, feel free. Oh, and someone might want to call an ambulance."

He glanced over the crowd, who had begun to stand and awkwardly make their way towards the door, glancing back at Lila and Reid and the others, and he found JJ had already pressed her cell to her ear. Hotch had stood, and he began to direct the guests out the door for them, sending a nod in Morgan's direction. Morgan turned back to Reid and Lila, who was barely standing. Garcia stepped forward, setting her rose in the minister's hands, then tugged Reid out of the way. He moved slowly away from his new wife, and Garcia slid an arm around Lila's waist.

"Hey sweetie. We're going to go change your clothes, okay?"

Lila nodded. "This dress was really expensive."

"I know, babe. Think you can walk?"

Lila nodded again, and Garcia helped her out of the chapel into the room where she'd gotten ready. Reid stared after them, numb.

"Reid?" Gideon called, and he looked down at him. "What do you want everyone to do?"

"I... I don't know," Reid said. He sat down hard on the altar steps. "I don't know."

* * *

Reid gripped Lila's hand tightly as the ambulance bumped its way towards the hospital. He was still wearing his tux, his tie now loose around his neck. Lila looked up at him, her pain now lessened slightly.

"Spencer?"

He looked down at her, and leaned down, kissing her fingers. "Yeah?"

"I love you," she said. He leaned down and kissed her lightly.

"I love you, too," he whispered, before another painful contraction made her yelp, digging her fingernails into Reid's skin. He didn't even flinch.

* * *

"The umbilical cord is wrapped around the baby's neck. She'll have to undergo an emergency C-section," the doctor explained to Reid, who was leaning against the wall outside the delivery room, doing his best not to collapse.

"Will she... she'll be okay, won't she?" Reid asked, steeling himself. The doctor was silent a moment.

"I can't promise you that everything will be fine. There's a risk with any kind of surgery. But she's healthy and strong, so her odds are very good. Reid nodded, casting one last look into the delivery room where Lila lay.

"Can I go in with her?"

The doctor shook his head. "I'm afraid we don't allow anyone in the OR during procedures. There is a waiting room right down this hall, and we'll come tell you the second we know anything. Reid pushed his hair back from his face and looked down at the floor as the bed carrying Lila wheeled out into the hall. She reached for his hand when she passed.

"I love you," he said as she squeezed his hand. She did her best to smile at him through her pain and nodded.

"I love you, too," she responded weakly, then let go of his hand as they pushed her down the hall. Reid watched until the bed disappeared around the corner, then turned and started towards the waiting room. When he reached it, he found it already full of wedding guests. Lila's parents, his team, his mother, Hailey and Bill, and a couple of Lila's friends all sat around the room, talking quietly amongst themselves. Reid's mother was the first to notice him enter, and she got to her feet, stepping towards him. She put her hands on his shoulders and kissed his cheek, and he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her, tightly, as he finally began to cry. His mother held him, and the group fell silent.

* * *

"Dr. Reid?"

Reid's head shot up quickly, and he saw the doctor standing before him, still dressed in his surgical scrubs. Reid blanched and stood, stepping towards him.

"Yes?"

The doctor took a few steps away, and he followed, his arms wrapped tightly around himself.

"Dr. Reid... you have a son," said the doctor first, and Reid felt his heart rise into his throat.

"And...my wife?"

"She's lost a lot of blood, but she is stable, and as far as we can tell, she'll make a full recovery."

Reid stared at him with his bloodshot eyes, and he swallowed hard. "Thank you."

The doctor nodded and moved back down the hall. Reid stared after him, frozen in place, until he felt a soft hand in his. He looked down to see that JJ had taken his hand, and looked up at him questioningly. He let out a shaky breath.

"He said she should make a full recovery."

"Oh, Reid, that's great," JJ said, smiling at him. She squeezed his fingers lightly.

"I... I have a son," he added, simply, and then suddenly his knees buckled and JJ had to grab him quickly before he hit the floor.


End file.
